And this too shall pass...

I've been struggling mentally with running since Austin.  I'm getting really good at finding little excuses not to run.  I've gained 4 pounds.  My fitness level has definitely declined.  My pants are fitting a little tighter than I prefer.  So, what's up?  

I don't know, exactly, but I really need to work through it and get back on the right track.  At the same time, I need to remember and realize that marathon training doesn't need to be and maybe shouldn't be an all year kind of thing.  That's a pretty high mileage rate - it takes a lot of time and sucks a lot of energy.  But there does have to be a balance and one shouldn't feel like they're always looking for a excuse to drink wine instead of running!  

Sometimes, it's the fear of the next event that keeps me training.  Lately, I've been doing minimal training but the ONLY reason that I think I've been doing any is that I promised a friend that I'd run her first half marathon with her.  And that was today.  We ran those 13.1 in a solid time and had a great time visiting the whole way.  She ran the last 1.1 perfectly - speeding up just a bit at the 12 mile marker and continuing to slowly accelerate until we saw the 13 mile marker.  At that point, we put the pedal to the metal and sprinted it in!  It was a fast finish and it felt amazing.  

Now that I don't have anything on the calendar, I'm going to have to dig deep and find some other motivator.  In fact, this might be the first time in a very, very long time that I'll be running for nothing, so to speak.  I hope I can get back into my five days a week routine...  I'll keep y'all posted!  

Shamrock Run

Yesterday, I ran the Shamrock 15k for the second time.  It is a challenging course that starts downtown on the Waterfront and heads north to the Burnside bridge.  After running halfway across the bridge, the course does a turn around sending runners back up Burnside.  After turning left at Broadway, the course continues on a slight uphill through the Portland State campus.  After running through campus, the course crosses I-405, turns right and then left to head up Terwilliger.  This is where it gets steep as Terwilliger heads up to OHSU...  then there's a slight reprieve before heading uphill again to the Chart House.  From there, there are a couple more downhill, uphill combos and then the course turns left again to head down the sweet, sweet downhill of Barbur all the way back downtown to the finish line. 

Although it is technically a 15k or 9.3 mile race, it only feels like you're running 5.75 miles because everything past that is a nice, steady, gentle downhill where you can really put it in cruise control and still log some fast miles.  Last year, I averaged 10:21 pace because I was gearing up for Eugene and had run an 18 miler on Friday night.  This year, I'd done a 14 miler on Friday morning but I still knew I'd shatter last year's pace... and I was right.  I clocked in with a 9:46 pace this year. 

Here are my splits according to the good old Garmin:
Mile 1 - 9:49
Mile 2 - 10:12
Mile 3 - 10:13
Mile 4 - 10:05
Mile 5 - 9:59
Mile 6 - 9:13
Mile 7 - 10:02
Mile 8 - 8:37
Mile 9 - 8:34
Mile 9.5 - 6:58 pace

So, according to my Garmin, I actually hit a 9:30 pace.  I'm not sure how the official timing and my Garmin could be off by :16 per mile but who cares.  I'm happy with my time especially considering that I'm only three weeks off of Austin and not feeling quite 100% recovered yet. 

Failure

If you've been following this blog, you probably know that I ran the Austin Marathon on Sunday and maybe you've been wondering why you haven't heard any more about it.  You may also know that my training went really, really well.  Like me, you probably expected big things.  If so, you'd be very, very disappointed.  I had the absolute worst race ever.  During my lowest low points, I felt like a total failure.  But, even then, I'd tell myself that someone who has run three marathons can not be a failure.  This would be followed by other very negative thoughts - that I really can't consider myself an athlete at all, that I don't deserve to run marathons, that I'm never going to even bother to run ever again.  Of course, with some perspective, I realize that none of these things are true.

So, what happened?  I'm still not entirely sure.  The only thing that I can come up with is that the heat got to me and resulted in severe dehydration.  I was on pace the whole way up until around the 20 mile point.  At around 15 miles, I had a bathroom stop where I emptied my colon and hoped that that would be the end of it.  However, around 20 miles, it hit again and I was forced to visit another port-a-potty.  From that point on, I couldn't run more than a quarter mile without having to stop and walk just to try to get my tummy settled again.  Those last six miles were long, hot, depressing and painful.  I watched the 4:30 pace group go by...  then the 4:45...  then the 5:00!!!  That's right, the FIVE HOUR group passed me.  When I ran the Portland Marathon, my first, I finished in under five hours and was diagnosed with a stress fracture the following week.  At Austin, my bowels and the heat somehow forced me into my worst ever finish.  Devastating.  

I'm not used to failing - in any aspect of my life.  This has been a tough couple of days filled with reflection and self-soothing.  I know this doesn't mark the end of my running career.  It does mean, however, that I'm going to play around with electrolytes in my training since taking them on this run might have prevented the wheels flying off this bus.  I had days of vibrant urine, headaches, muscle aches and feeling pretty worn down - all of which lead me to believe that I was too dehydrated.  I finally got past it with a full day of taking an Advil and an electrolyte pill every four or so hours along with GALLONS of water.  

I hope that I learn a good lesson from this race - even if that lesson is just that I am capable of both falling on my face and dusting myself back off so I can get back in the game.  I'm taking most of this week off and planning a 12 mile-ish run for Saturday.  I have a six week plan sketched out...  hopefully I can redeem my battered pride on the Vernonia Marathon course!