We all have naysayers in our lives, whether it's in the realm of running or other aspects of our lives, there are those people who just don't seem to get it or can only make themselves feel good by making others feel bad (or at least trying to). When it comes to running, it is fairly common for the people in our lives not to share our passion and, therefore, not really understand it.
Recently, a friend completed her first half marathon and, when talking about it to co-workers, was meet with an overall apethetic response. SHE'D JUST RUN HER FIRST HALF MARATHON, people! This is and should be a huge deal to anyone who has done it!
In my life, I've been told things like 'how many times can I say good job' and 'I'm not going to support you running your first marathon because that would be boring'. When it has happened to me, I've been incredibly hurt and taken aback... and wished I'd known what to say in return. Both of those happened over two years ago, when running was still a relatively new thing in my life and I really needed support.
The good news is that I now know that I run only for me and that I don't need anyone else's support to enjoy it. I've run marathons where I've had a handful of supporters with signs cheering me on and one where I had not one friendly face to look for in the crowd. I can't recall anyone coming out to support me in a shorter event than a marathon. Yet I've managed to finish them all because I run for me. That said, the marathon with the most supporters was my fastest time and most enjoyable marathon experience overall.
But, the point is, I don't run so that others will be impressed or make me signs or fawn over my accomplishments. Those things are nice and I do value them very much... but I can't let them interfere with how I feel about myself and how proud I am of my running 'career'. For me, this has been a huge lesson in running but also one that I desperately needed to apply to my real life too - and since I have, I've been happier and more fulfilled on both fronts!
If you've been running for any amount of time, I'm sure you've had a similar experience. What insights can you provide for how you handled the negative emotions that resulted? Feel free to share your experiences and thoughts in the comments.
Hi Jess,
ReplyDeleteIt's the kind of thing that can derail the whole experience of working toward a goal. I've been fortunate, to be sure. Even though Jeanne no longer runs long distances, she relishes everything about race day. She drops me off at the start early in the morning (we run at 6:00 out here in Florida due to the humidity and heat) and she picks a spot (sometimes two) to cheer for me. It's such a lift to see Jeanne and Lyla out there on the course at the Gate River Run or the Jacksonville Bank Half!
Your attitude is one that any person who pursues a sometimes solitary passion has to adopt. If running is your lifestyle, it can be that way. Folks pick it up for a month or two, as a novelty, but then let it go. But people who view running as fundamental keep the mies up through the rain and solitude of the solo training sessions.
I ran a sub-7:00 mile yesterday for the first time in 2011. I really burned the last quarter. No one watched or cheered. Why did I do it?
I had to.
I just keep running. When I hear negative comments about another of my solitary passions, I just keep writing.
What are the alternatives? Don't run? Don't tell stories? They aren't good choices, I can tell you that!
So just lace 'em up and run hard. That's how I handle the naysayers...